Alleviate Caregiver Stress
Caregiving Begins with “Self”
Taking on the role of caregiver can be demanding, time-consuming and heart-wrenching—just downright stressful; especially when you are caring for an aging parent while juggling a young family and a job. With little time left to think about one's self, many caregivers fail to realize the emotional and physical toll of these demands. The good news is, if stress is recognized it can be fairly easy to manage.
Whether you are caring for an aging family member or a loved one with a chronic disease, it’s important for you to remember, a vital part of caring for others is caring for yourself. Failing to care for yourself can lead to chronic stress, which can manifest itself in many ways, including: anger, social withdrawal, anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, irritability, lack of concentration and even physical health problems.
41% of baby boomers are providing care for a living parent—USA Today Gallup poll, 2008
37% expect to provide care for a living parent—USA Today Gallup poll, 2008
And let's face it, if you're ailing, how much help can you really be to your loved one who desperately needs you? While becoming a caregiver can be overwhelming, it does not have to change your life completely. To help manage your life and make sure your role as a caregiver is not managing you, consider the following tips:
Don’t let guilt get the best of you
Don’t feel guilty because you have other obligations, and a life of your own. Sometimes we can't be with our loved one's every single moment of every day. Acknowledge and understand that you are doing the best you can. In the United States alone, there are nearly 69 million family caregivers. You are not alone.
Learn what resources are available
Give yourself a break by using in-home care assistance, transportation services, volunteer companion services, Meals-on-Wheels and adult day care. Sometimes it does “take a village” to care for a person in need, and that's okay. These resources are out there and available, so take full advantage.
Educate yourself
To best care for your loved one, learn as much as you can about the condition he/she suffers from, and seek out resources from organizations related to that condition. You can learn so much by just doing a little research. Also, a simple search on-line can link you to other people in similar situations. Valuable advice, information and support could inevitably follow.
Ask for help
Seeking the support of family, friends and community will allow you to remain in good health and in good spirits. Don't be afraid or shy to ask for help. Sometimes friends and family want to help, but don't know how. Or, they don't realize your ship is sinking. Ask for a life-raft when you need it. You might be surprised at how willing and happy people are to jump in and assist.
Know your limitations
It’s very likely that at some point, your loved one’s needs will increase to a level outside of your knowledge base. Sometimes we're not always qualified to care for our loved one's the way they should, and need to be cared for. Sometimes, admitting your limitation is the best thing you can do for a person. Be aware that this day may come, and know when to seek a higher level of care, such as in-home care providers and assisted living.
Treat yourself well
It's vitally important that you create time for hobbies, or things that bring you a sense of pleasure and joy. That could mean game night with your kids, going out with friends, golfing or reading. This is your time to recharge the battery, relax and do something special or meaningful. Engaging in fun activities will help provide balance and stress reduction in your life. It’s also essential to incorporate exercise and watch your diet. A good exercise and eating plan will keep you healthy while reducing stress.
Create a plan of action
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Consult professionals and discuss your future plans with family before a crisis occurs. Seeking advice from an attorney and a financial planner would be good starting points. Also, you might want to meet with an assisted living placement advisor to learn what your options are.
Remember, you are not alone, don't compromise your own health, strive for balance and when times get tough, ask for help. Following these tips can lead you to a healthier and happier place, ultimately putting you in a better frame of mind to care for yourself and your loved ones.
Becky Feola is the owner and founder of Assisted Living Advantage which provides counseling and placement services for assisted living and residential elder care. To learn more, or to check Feola's educational seminar schedule, visit www.assistedlivingadvantage.com.
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